Don't let them fool you!

Does anyone remember the t.v. show that used to be on sometime in the 90's called "When Animals Attack"? I remember watching that show and that might be part of the reason I'm terrified of coyotes (henchmen of evil I tell you) and I don't remember any episodes that involved rodents of any kind. I've gone my entire adult life, all 9 years of it, thinking those cute little critters wouldn't harm a fly.

Just look at them- awh. Did I ever mention I had a pet rat growing up named Tilly? No, well it's not something I'm proud of but the point I'm trying to make here is that I wish them no ill will. I will not run them over when they run in front of me, I brake for squirrel. When they run around on my roof at 5:30 in the morning I just kindly bang on the wall- just a tap to let them know I need my beauty rest, no air soft gun. I'm kind to all fur bearing beasts. Until Thursday...

Until this charged at me, in my CRAFT ROOM! He entered through my chimney, as evidenced by all soot everywhere. I swear I did not retouch this picture one bit. If I did I would have added a cute craft hutch, not a red eyed spawn of satan.

I'll tell the readers digest condensed version of the story since I get myself all worked up when I tell it at length, so if I've animated this with my flailing arms for you earlier in the week you can just laugh at me all over again.

I was sitting in my craft room/office catching up on some much needed email replies and feeding Kennedy when I hear a small crash coming from my kitchen. This happens at least 10 times a day with the girls tromping around upstairs so I didn't think anything of it until about 15 minutes goes by and I see a scurry in my office. I look down, by my bare feet mind you, and within one foot of my foot is a squirrel. A live outdoor squirrel inside and he's making noises at me. I do what any calm rational person would do and I scream a girly scream and fling myself back with my rolling office chair dropping to the ground and slamming my doors as fast as I can.

I have glass french doors that don't really stay shut so I grab my handy dandy rubber band and tie those suckers together. Now he's trapped in my craft room. Since I was online (dial-up) and my cell phone was in there I couldn't call for help without going in with the beast. I braved the unknown armed with my trusty pink butterfly net, grabbed the cell phone and disconnected from the internet. He saw me coming and charged me, fangs drawn and screaming. Okay, so the fang part I made up but he really did run towards me. Sheer terror sets in. Did you see the picture?

I somehow managed to get the doors shut again with him locked inside and he runs off towards my supplies. All I can do is helplessly watch as he grabs my scrapbook papers in his impossibly cute paws (?) and throws them on the floor "she loves me, she loves me not" style. NOOOOOoooo!!! The girls and I sat and watched him terrorize my stuff through the glass for about 3 hours. My craft room is in shambles. The ending of this story will make Cody look like a pansy who sacrifices his wife to save his own behind so I won't go there ;o). Needless to say I ended up opening the window, punching the screen Rambo style with my big biceps, and after a little prodding and more screaming (by all of us, including the squirrel) he jumped out. Squirrel be gone! If you've read this entirely let me know and there might be a goody in it for you... just maybe... he he... just comment and put the word "spawn" in there somehow and I'll know you know and you are in the drawing. Don't leave a comment that will give it away that I'm giving something away though... I want to see who's paying attention. Leave your name and email so I can get a hold of you in case you win. I'm so tricky!

I've spent the rest of the weekend disinfecting my entire house after finding sooty foot prints on my toaster, in my bathroom sink, on my end table by the couch, and other places. Yumm-o!

Have a fantastic weekend full of friends and family and devoid of squirrels ;o).

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